The Dwarves for free. A free festival and all ages. The crowd, all göthteens in Manic panic and mom's pantyhose, made me feel old.. But thank God for the Dwarves, they make me...feel and look young and perky!

THANK YOU to those of you that gave me paid account-time. I feel like a freeloader now...so, is it okay if I come sleep on your couch?!
Yeah, I know, bad sense of humour, but as I have good hair, I figured it evens out..

somebody who calls herself "a journalist, housewife and idealist" send me a photo on the subject fun with pets....a photo of a cat suckling off her 8 year old daughter.
now, is it just me, or is that going not just a little too far (with everything) but way too far?

I'm afraid to open my inbox these days.

what's new:
I've turned 31 - nothing exciting happened.
my paid lj-account ran out - nothing exciting happened.
I bought a pair of jeans after having tried them on - very exciting.

I almost never buy clothes after trying them on. I just can't get myself to go into that dressingroom, look in the mirror and squeeze myself into something that will most likely make me look like a sausage waiting to be trown on the barbecue. sorry, nah, not my type of fun.
so far I've mostly bought clothes the size I think I am. it was recently pointed out to me that no, it wasn't my size and no, I wasn't no regular girl because unlike regular girls, I didn't buy clothes a couple of sizes too small...

I should try to livejournal more often, I think. if nothing else, my english needs it.

it's one of those days when I should not log on nor go out:
read something about Please write a testimonial about me on my friendspage and I really had to fight the urge to write 'She swallows'.

no wonder I don't have too many friends.

When Anso spotted this one
- Hulk Hogan?!

I think, and I almost dare not type this, that the stupidmotherfuckingVanillaIce-neighbor is moving out. I hope he is.

I do.
thumbs, all fingers and all toes.
I wish he is.

I just realized that I look more like a Sims-character than anything else...

somebody asked me if I was going to go see the Gossip tonight and I responded that
"-Nah, sorry. That's no place for babies"
that's a solid response, right?
well, the mighty twat that asked got all pissy because he thought I was calling him a baby...

----------

I bought the loveliest ring-sling for Honk and it has yet to arrive. I also bought two rebozo ring-slings and they have yet to arrive.
note to self: don't ever buy things online.

Look ma', there's the bus!

Or not. 15 minutes late so far..

The definition of 'good company'.

Baked potato with vanilla icecream? Yum..

anybody on Facebook?
I joined just to get hold of an old friend and I can't find anybody or even understand why it exists. hilfe!

I'm Lisa Nilsson. on Facebook and in real life.

ps:
life's ok. not good, but ok. my pills aren't working, I've got no money but my kid, she's a pearl.

I dunno what's wrong with me but something most certainly is as this song's been on repeat in my head the last few days

but sure, it could be worse. like last week when I had this


and yeah, guess which band is from Sweden...

I feel like a clown. Good thing I look like one...

And yeah, not only my 6 months old but also I find myself appreciating Fall out boy. Does that make me a bad mother?

No, not really (atleast I hope not!). This was just a series of hairdisasters that were bound to happen...as they should when bored housewives (well, almost) arm themself with certain hairproducts that shouldn't be sold to ordinary people.

It's been bleached x 4 and then I used a color/tone called Stockholm. No kidding, apparently swedes have hair the same color as urine!

I am oh so tempted to dye it hotpink or black, but thats what got me in this situation so I am trying to fight the urge. The idea was to get hair that didn't need no fixin', trixin' or dyeing over the summer, but all I got was this Tori Spelling anno 95 look...minus the sad donuts.

I found this fabulous magazine at the local newsstand but....I was not sure if it was a real magazine. maybe a prank or an artschool project? it was placed between Vogue uk and Oprah, so it's not like my thoughts were all that odd?!
it's real though and I love it.

....as in the guidelines for their Eating disorder board game

"To determine your start point you have to figure out your BMI (Body Mass Index), which is basically how dense your body is. Not dense like, you think you're still a virgin after anal"

Living la vida...Argento?

---- Originalmedd. ----
Från: Lisa Nilsson
Skickat: 15 maj 2007 18:12 +01:00
Till: <----------@photos.flickr.com>
Ämne:

Motherfucking skitvagn

---- Originalmedd. ----
Från: Lisa Nilsson
Skickat: 10 maj 2007 21:08 +01:00
Yet another test

..and hey, I got myself another new moleskine today while Iggy got herself a new ride that doesn't need any pimpin'




edit: mobileposting finally working!

what's really funny, and odd at the same time, is that Mother's day, Father's day and all that shite isn't universal. it's not the same date all around the world. if you travel a lot, you might celebrate Father's day every day!

yeah, I know, I am easily amused.
speaking of celebrating things, we did Iggy this weekend. hotpink, black, white, yellow and one brown baby. when I think about how much money we spend on stupid things like flowers, balloons, liquor and stuff I want to cringe.....
nevertheless, it was a success. it usually is when you arm all the kids with water-guns....

I think I've stumbled upon a way to loose weight in no time: strap on a baby and walk around forever and ever. I'm starting to look like a skeleton with excess skin.

I think things are getting back to normal but still, i just don't have that time to sit down in front of the computer when there are so many other things I want to do.

is there a way to post to your LJ using email? that would be the perfect solution as I always have something to say when there's no computer in the vicinity.

nevermind, figured it out.

and no, I didn't because that post never went up.

it's been ...a ride.
I've seen my dad a few more times, met my grandparents,my brother and within a few days, I'll also see my stepmom. who would've guessed that?

to be honest, I know it's been overwhelming but I just haven't had time to think. I take it one day at a time and soon enough, it will feel like old news and maybe then I'll...
I have nightmares during the night and during the day, I try to capture everything so that I don't lose a minute.

suddenly, I have family, but it doesn't really make me feel less lonely.


(and I haven't had any time to read your entries in a week or so. sorry 'bout that.)

my man's willing to go vego around the house!
not even just willing, he suggested it!
oh,love is in the air.

I've finally gotten around to going to the gym...and oh my, how I have missed that! these days they even got a punching bag!

thinking of machina('s posts), I did a little happy dance.

to make a long story short, I'm seeing my dad tomorrow.
that will be the first time in almost 12 years. he's had a series of strokes and he did seem a bit...odd/senile/something when I talked to him on the phone. according to his nurse, he's not well and won't be returning to his home.

so, wish me luck.

as I am a girl with nothing better to do, I got myself a youtube account so that I can upload all the videos I've made with my cellphone. first out is Iggy, more to come later.


(if you use youtube for personal schtuff, tell me and I'll subscribe so that I have something to do. please help a bored girl, please!)

I don't know why it is, but I desperately want a septum piercing. I did a few years back as well, but that passed.
now that I know I want it, there are no piercers around. seriously, there are no piercing shops around. what the hell? am I so -97 that i don't even know it?
(and yes, I haven't gotten a piercing since -97. I'm that old)

lately I've been doing stock-photos. pretty flowers, birds and leaves. why? I don't really know. each time I upload a new bunch, it surprises me how stocky it is. not that it isn't nice pictures. it's beautiful pictures alright but they're not really what I usually do. I guess taking 2-3 hours walks with the stroller on a daily basis in the same fucking town makes you blank. in order to do something, you take pictures of whatever it is you see along your way. if somebody just got naked, I'd have something completely different to do.

speaking off...something completely different, Devil doll, Thee Merry Widows and Supersuckers are playing (not together) in the next few weeks.I was thinking about going to the latter, but it's at a shitty venue in a dull town (where the Sounds is from. coincidence? I think not) so nobody wants to go. Devil Doll? nobody wants to go because it's pricey. Thee merry Widows? nobody seems to know who they are so nobody wants to go....and I can't figure out where to go when. going alone is, well,lonely, and a drag. going with a puppet is lonely, a drag and pretty sad. so, what's a girl to do?

..ehum, there's been a bunch of people adding me lately and I'm too lazy to go through all the user profiles to see who's who, who's writing and who's just a mass-adder.
so, this is one of those annoying posts where you scream if you're reading my journal and I haven't added you. ok?

it's pretty odd how darn fast things change. the big ball of love is gone and I no longer remember how it feels to be pregnant (thank God). that I was that big! 189 pounds of double-love is now 130 pounds of singular love. sometimes I don't even recall that I gave birth. I do but I don't. it feels like it's one of those big important things that real women do that I'll never even attempt...but then I realize that I actually did squeeze out that girl...
it's odd. really odd.

it still feels strange that she's ours to keep.

I hate...when your memory card dies. no warning, just dies on you. 512 mb of images taken this week are gone. nice images. good images.
fuck.knulla.dick.pitt.ass.arsle.jessicasimpson.jessicasimpson.

that sums up the week pretty good. the time passes so fast I don't even know what I have done except baby (cute little baby...SLEEP!), tea (gotta stay awake), baby (diaper, smelly diaper!), tea (caffeine!)...and maybe some sleep (what?! when?!).

on a completely different note, I need a good haircut. a bit inspired by somavenus last one, I'm heading into the bathroom..like now...... because yes, I do my own hair. no wonder I look like I do!

I've had a crush on Amy Winehouse for a while and once I learned that she wasn't only a boozehound but an (almost) recovering anorexic, that crush just got a little bit bigger.
I'm odd like that, I have thing for psychotic/neurotic women.

...and that she's been heckling Bono? oh my, this' my gal!

---------
and speaking of anorexics - my doctor seems to think I'm one.

this weekend's been all about living in color, taking care of tse baby and finding some new tv-series that will take Carnivale's place in our hearts. we've had a go at Heroes, but I'm not so sure. know of any ones we would like/love?

in the last two weeks our dvd, stove and fridge has moved on to greener pastures. ok, maybe not greener or even green but wherever stuff like that go when they die.
the odd thing is that they're all pretty new.
2 of our 3 balconydoors are on their last breath, our tap has fallen to pieces(!) and our neighbor is dealing.
no wonder I've fallen in love with b/w (ok, black and grey) again.

a movie about Milli Vanilli?! can it be true? oh my dreams will be fulfilled!

when they're just throwing out money left and right, why don't they just make a movie about cheez whiz?

Binkie's in the hotsling and I finally have a moment to myself...or rather, a moment where she's asleep and I can sit down and do whatever.

it's been a bumpy ride. I didn't expect it to be easy but this has been...a lot. a murmur, colic and what seems to be milk allergy. I've been carrying her around in a peekaboo, a hotsling or a mei tai these last 8 weeks. that's the only way she can stay calm and fall asleep. you just go hour by hour, day by day and try not to think too much about it. you just do it.

...but I think it's heading in the right direction. I probably shouldn't write this today, the day before the checkup at the cardiologist, and somehow jinx it all, but it feels like the worst phase is over.
I wish it's heading in the right direction because I would love to have a breather. be able to sit down, relax and plan ahead. these last few weeks, I've barely eaten a proper meal, had a chat or time to read a book....and it's making me feel more and more hollow. you need more than just sleep and calories to live.

eh.

it's days like this that I wish I had parents, siblings or just about anyone. somebody that would call, come by and maybe help out. just stop by, have a coffee and a chat.
I'm glad that Honk's home, he's on a 'parental leave' for 6 months, but I still feel a bit isolated...

I wish I wasn't all kids, diaper, kids, nag, nag. I wish I was all crochet, kids, photography, rock, nag, nag, but I just haven't had the time or the energy to be or do anything else. I don't even have time to write in my (paper)journal. feck.

I hate Blythe. I do, I do, I do. it's like a virus infecting my friends-page: first there was only one, then there were a handful....and now you're all hooked.
what is it with them that makes them seem like crack to the creative?

my life right now isn't really a life. I wish I could say it was differently but it isn't. Iggy,aka Inkie Binkie Hallonsmoothie, is still a screamqueen and I'm still upping my meds. my friends are far far away (apparently, you can't hang with somebody that has an infant in a babysling. not kewl.)and I don't really have the energy to do things. like online-activities, reading and such. I'm still fairly active with my cameras but I don't have the time to edit all my photos. plus, there's not all that much to take pictures of as I am walking the same old streets every day....

do I sound depressed? well, I am, but in some ways I am not. I'm just stuck in a rut and I wish there was something called insta-friends - just add water.

I want to start a bike-gang. complete with matching denim jackets, a cool name and all.
except, it wouldn't have any members. I don't know anybody 'cept Honk that rides a bike. one girl doesn't make a gang.

maybe that's why people get an ass-load of kids. a truck full. that way you have a gang that jumps when you say jump and if they don't behave, no allowance. too bad you have to change diapers for a few years to get there...

just when I thought television couldn't get any worse, swedish telly started showing Rockstar Supernova:
icky has-beens trying to pretend they know everything because they sold oh so many records while Mr I-got-a-dead-rat-on-my-head Navarro ick'ifies the screen with his ultra-sleeze.
girls in little to no clothes pour their eh..hearts out on stage competing with My Chemical Romance-wannabe eyeliner kids over the role of eh..rockstar no 1. the price is being in a band with the has-beens. they actually want to be in a band with Tommy Lee?! oh my, what has the world come to...

I'm glad to see that the embodiment community is alive and kicking with new members, but honestly?! I could do without the 14 year olds...the platitudes, the MTV-bullshit and the pictures of celebrities, please spare me!

I'm getting older while everybody on the internet is getting younger.

it's not about Brooke Shields anymore, it's all about me, me, me!
what you say? postpartum depression that is.

funny thing how I was doing all fine for a good while. a good chunk of a while, a big bag of it. all fine until something like a few days after giving birth....and then it just went downhills and that pretty damn fast. within days.
what's not so funny is that somehow I feel like a loser. a loser and a cheat. that somehow I should have seen this coming. after all, I am the kid that threw out my medication less than a year ago.

if I was a trendy kid, I'd be bummed. being depressed is so 1995.

so it's drugs, therapy, long walks and trying to kickstart that creative gene that went into hibernation, in order to be/find myself again. next time, I'll just use a paper-clip, so much easier.

I don't think I've done anything productive this week or even these weeks. sure, I've done stuff, all the regular stuff you need to do in order to get from A to B, to be able to get up next day and have food to eat, clothes to wear and all that, but I haven't done anything. you know where you don't just feel proud of yourself but feel like you have more energy than you had before you got started?!
nope, haven't done that... haven't felt like that in a long time.

I posted this over at Schmut a few days ago, but it's still pretty much what's going on:
no snow, no Christmas-spirit (whatever that may be), just fog and long walks after dark.

Borat has invaded my dreams. when you don't get enough sleep and then you finally do get some sleep.....and all you dream about is Borat, well, you know your day is going to be fucked.
other movies I recommend (that haven't invaded my dreams...yet) are Little Miss Sunshine and Children of Men. I guess there are more I could recommend but lately I've seen so many that I don't even remember them all. luxury problem? very much so.

well, have a Merry Holimas!
this Christmas, I want sleep. no wrapper needed.

first off, thanks for all the Oh's, Ah's and congratulations on the last post.

things have been a bit..hectic.. over here. not so much about the fact that there's a baby in the house, but because things started off crazy. first off 39 hours of labor with no sleep (and no, it didn't turn out the way I wanted to. after 33 hours trying to make it through the pain with only my breathing as a crutch, I was begging for whatever painrelief they had to offer) then the breastfeeding-nazis at the maternity wards that didn't hear me when I said I had a breastreduction and were of the opinion that if I wanted to breastfeed, it would work. ie, they put the 'bad mother' stamp on my forehead....and Iggy lost a lot of weight, because you know, I have had a breastreduction and you can't live on wishful thinking and love. my tears probably gave her some nutrition, but not much..
the whole thing made Honk so stressed he developed some odd shutting-down mechanism where he just feel asleep anywhere anytime and I couldn't wake him.
it all felt like an John Waters movie, minus the colors. luckily, we have those at home..


now, finally things are back to normal. probably not normal normal, but a lot better than when it all started. I might even be able to spend some valuable play-time with my camera, read the paper and think about other things that feeding-time..

seeing as it's pretty hard to track down 2 weeks worth of entries on my Lj-friendslist, what's been happening in your lives?

those of you that are on Honk's friendslist know but for the rest of you:
Iggy is out, has broken free and now enjoys Hedwig (literally), pretending to be a frog and frowning.


--
I took a bunch of photos during the delivery (call it my personal way of dealing with pain. it worked wonders but the photos came out...eh..rather crappy..) and I'll flickr them when I get the time. right now? not a lot of time.

the Flood, the Flood, where's Noah?!
he's nowhere to be seen, but Iggy?! she's Captain of her own ship and is steering towards the harbor.

-------------
same post but not so emo:
the kid's coming. like now.