hey, I see you, as does Piglet!
my mother told me it's common courtesy to introduce yourself, so please do.
well, actually, my mother didn't, she was too busy downing booze and throwing knives like she was a cowboy and not a mother of 2, but still, it's common courtesy.

(from time to time, there are 'hidden'/friends-only entries. even if you're not on the friendslist, feel free to read and comment. communication = good)

ps: är du svenne så kan du alltid glo lite på schmut

Spent some time reading through friends' journals and then friends of friends. Found out that an old lj-buddy committed suicide 3 years ago (around the time I had Iggy). I guess that proves that this is all an ego-trip - can't even keep track of you all. Even though this is "just online", people spill their guts and hope that somebody listens. After a while, they figure that some people, the so-called friends, do listen.
I didn't even do that.
I think I will have to re-think this whole Livejournal-shebang. If I'm here, then I need to read and not just pop in once a year and say; Wow, you had a baby/tattoo/sexchange?.
The only problem is that LJ takes time. But then again, so does Farmville...

On a good note, I re-discovered Shrinkle (through Twinkie). She's one of those colorful personalities that always make me smile and realize that I need color in my life. If I had money, I'd go Kryolan. That was if one could buy it over here..

HELLO! Is this thing on?

Feels like I am talking to myself here. I already do that so I don't really need another venue.
Heh..

The oddest question, I know. but what's your homepage? You know, the first site when the browser launches? That's usually a site you not just like but also use. My bookmarks are filled with sites I like but never look at. My homepage, well, I get bored so easily that mine changes weekly. Right now it's http://creaturecomforts.typepad.com/ , an inspirational blog that updates frequently. Plus, I like the design. I wish http://www.schmut.net looked something like that...( or like http://www.poppytalk.blogspot.com/)
The week before that it was http://www.google.se/ig and before that http://schmut.bloggy.se/ (swedish equivalent to twitter) or http://modish.typepad.com/

I think I might have mentioned this far too many times before, but I need friends. I want friends. I want friends that are just MINE and not Honks & mine. There's a subtle difference.
I want friends that like to eat and be geeks. No dieting, no being übercool and caring what others may have to say.

To be completely honest, that's one of the reason I rarely read my LJ friendspage these days : I get so darn jealous. You guys seem to have such great funfilled lives. You do things, go places, meet people and you evolve.
I don't.
I grow things. An artichoke for a best friend.

For some unknown reason, LJ won't let me post by email. I've been sending a bunch of updates from my phone, but there's not here. Lost words afloat.  Too bad as my new phone and me are getting along pretty good. Well, it's shite, but so far it's working shite. That is more than I am used to.

Other than that, hot, sweaty and looking like a fool. This heat is making me use short sentences like that. (Sure, blame the heat)

Iggy's been sick, really sick. Roky's been wild, really wild. Me? I've been dead tired.
You know where washed out and washed up mothers ask for a rejuvenating makeover? This is now.

On a good note, I've been referred to as sharp and spot on (when it comes to media and politics). Who knew?

Last night, I dreamt I was in South Korea. That's ok.
Last night I dreamt I was in South Korea looking for the perfect marijuana. That's weird.
Last night, I dreamt I was a pothead in South Korea that had sex with Tim Armstrong. That's not ok.


And, hey, doesn't East Bay night sounds a lot like He's benign?

I've had this blog for 8,5 years. since November of 2000. that is scary, sick and ...scary. reading my own entries, I cringe and cringe some more. the photos are still good though (thank God).

I've been with Honk for 10 years. had Big Boss for 12 years.
the years are really adding up, aren't they?

who knew Jimmy Dean had plastic surgery?

I guess it's comments like this that makes me love livejournal

"i have allways wanted to be annirexic and i am 13 years old and at school people call me fat wat can i do lose wate and the is a boy i realy like wat can i do please help me if u can and am callied shona gregson and i am 7 stone and i link that is fat for me bye "

who was it?

what is it with all these vintage girls thinking that life as a housewife is a good choice in life?
and why is it they think they're being hated on?

today's the first time (in weeks) I've had time to sit down and read my friendspage thoroughly....and I realize that I don't have a clue about anything. a lot of things happen in a few weeks, don't they?
break-ups, kids, moving out, new jobs, new gender..?!

what did I do? well, I realized I might actually like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs new record. that's all.
well, that and taken many, many walks with the dog that's been bitten twice but not shy...or something.

the Writer's block on the frontpage scares me
why have a journal if you don't know what to say and most importantly, why write when you have nothing to say?
ah, never mind, that's what I do all the time...

but, I've fallen in love with Operator please, I can't log into Myspace, I've been reading far too much and I have been buying too many darn seeds. last night I dreamt that me and the singer of New bomb turks have joint custody over a dog and that I was living on a bus.
I've cut my hair so that I (almost) look like I did when I was 21. add wrinkles and you have Lisa anno 2009.
I know this all sounds like I should up on my meds, but honestly, I'm ok.
but, I would be better if somebody could suggest an journal-design that's a little more colorful than this...diarreah. please?
nevermind, I went back to the old one

I could write something deep and poetic about my (online) absence but no, it just felt good to not check my emails, un-install my msn and pretend like the internet never was.
I did update my swedish blog but that's because I can't keep my mouth shut about politics, media etc. it doesn't count as online activity, it's like breathing really. ranting in swedish means I don't have to think, just blabber on.

then I realized that not checking your email means there's a XXXX to be deleted once you do. so, me and the internet are on again.
for now.

my real name?
Lisa Madsen Nilsson. can be found on facebook, myspace and on the couch.

I had a nightmare - quit Public health and took up Litterature.
in real life, it's not a nightmare though but true. should I take a hint?
------------

been sick for some time. fallen in love with Spotify. gotten hooked on the Wire.
what have you been up to?

last.fm, paying for it - yay or not really?
I'm enjoying it more and more, but then again, I like a lot of things.

I feel old, dull and worn out.

I blame it on my lack of medication. can't be that I'm dull, eyh?
give me a makeover, please. and perfect skin while you're at it.

the more I venture out into the real world, aka go to school with a bunch of blond 20 year olds, the more I feel all haggard

psst:
the new Vegan a go go by Kramer, is it any good?

why don't americans ride bikes...more than they do?
it may sound like an odd (and a rather silly) question but having seen the chicks-that-bike feature in Venus Zine I can't help but wonder what's the deal?
chicks bike here all the time. they fix their bikes, they pimp their bikes, they ride around.

thinking some of you might know:

why is it that guerilla gardening is mostly about flowers and perennial bushes?
why not berries and other edibles?

I've been (tagging) using red currants and have been thinking about strawberries, but maybe this is something I should re-think?

I dreamt (last night) that Bush kept coming out of our closet and that he was dating Josh Homme.
also, that Eddie Vedder had launched an anti-smoking campaign for teenagers called Smoke Jam and was selling nicotine-inhalers shaped as guns.

needlessly to say, yes, I was running a fever.
and that MTV is evöl.

umbilical hernias in dogs - anybody that has had a dog with that? a dog that has had issues/medical problems with it later on?

over here, we (usually) don't close them unless they're severe and Roky's wasn't so it just meant he wasn't going to be Mr Stud.it was considered a cosmetic fault.
but, a few days ago, I noticed it was swollen and now it's the size of an olive....

I guess Honk should go on away more often - I've never been this productive

(shitty pics off my phone)

I've had "Holiday" (by Madonna) on repeat in my head all day. if it had been any other song by any other artist, it would have been ok, but now I'm starting to question my sanity

but to be honest, pre-90's Madonna isn't all that bad. too bad she ruined it by continuing her 'career'.

be your own..pet?

memes suck. however, this made sense (atleast at 3am).
too bad they didn't have a lynx' tail or it'd be perfect = lithe, coldloving and reserved.

Iggy's spending the night at friends. it's the 2nd time in 18 months that she's slept elsewhere and it was harder this time than the first.
24 hours or so to ourselves. what did we do? internetting, having coffee and watching telly.
that's pretty sad.

-----------------

and hey, good music to buy/check out?
I'm so out of touch I have no idea and you know, deep and underground as I am I can't buy Nylon no more because they had Scarlet Johansen on the cover

I'm turning 32 this summer and I still dress like I did at 22. I wear less makeup though and I can't say it's about saving money or saving the environment - it's all about saving energy and time. I guess that's where I act my age.

And yeah, my kid's cooler at 18 months than I was at 18 years.

we've got the allotment now and it needs work. a lot of work. but, it's the end of May and you can't really do anything but mow the lawn and see what happens during the summer. the rent is affordable to say the least, it's as big as our apartment and we pay 240SEK which is approximately $7. it's an old post-war socialistic experiment - give the poor some land so that they can grow potatoes and they'll keep quiet...or something along those lines. I'm not in it for the potatoes but I'll gladly grow some basil, oregano, spinach and other greens i.e things Iggy can put in her mouth.
it's supposed to be organic, there's no electricity and whatever you're doing is supposed to be in harmony with the environment.

I'm all (Frances) farmer these days. dog, kid and greens. I look like hell but atleast I'm..old enough?! I've never been the girl that can go without makeup without looking all haggard, but recently I have been (trying to). I don't know if it means I'm finally mature or it's just about me giving in and up? I'm telling myself it's all about getting freckles. any makeup will hinder the process.
but maybe the whole natural look is bullocks? there is no such thing, it's all sheer foundation and brown mascara?

so I have a family, a dog, an allotment and I buy organic food. I'm a hippie. a hippie with a mohawk. what do you call those? hippunks? punkies? an old friend of mine that I fell out with a few years ago, has apparently moved in the same direction. I guess maybe that's what we do? either we go rockabilly or we become one with nature?

Freudian slip?

my dog's former girlfriend tried to break his neck. literally. does that count as domestic violence?

Roky might become a dad in a few weeks. I wonder if that's why his girl got all aggressive?
it's drama in the dog park...

what is twitter and do I need one?

nevermind, I got myself one because it's kewl to be the last one on the train.

I haven't had a mouthful of anything even related to liquor for 3 years or so, but after having been on a walk with the dog (no dancing) for over 2 hours in the freezing cold, I felt in the need for some cognac.

does that mean I'm off the wagon?
and yes, I do admit to having some cheese earlier.

oh my, what have the world gone to...

--------------
and hey, what's the adult content flags on lj? so the kids find the porn and the crack a lot easier?

recipes that call for margarine and shortening = what the fuck for a european.
what is there in european margarine that there isn't in american?
there is no thing such as shortening over here, it's all margarine.

wikipedia suggests that shortening has a higher smoke point than margarine but the only thing I know that is vegan (that is sold over here) is coconut oil.

my tongue's all.....and my kid's all...and yeah, of course..
but in all honesty, I don't really have anything to complain about.
I don't.

but I do wish I had time (and energy) to paint.

I guess I don't have much of a fashion-sense because I think this is the best Paris have ever looked

I wish I was 17 again because then I'd have fresh and exciting ideas on what to do not only with my (lack of a) wardrobe but also with my head.
guess that's why so many 30-somethings want a makeover - their creativity went out with the placenta 

it's not because I've been completely under the weather that I've been silent on the web, it's because I've finally been starting to feel better.I just shut internet out for a while and focused on other things. now, that sounds mature, doesn't it?
so, I think it's ok that I picked up a cocaine-habit, because you know, I've got curtains, wellingtons, matching china and all know..

ok, to be honest, I only picked up a rather expensive taste in chocolate, but that just doesn't sound as rocknroll.



(and you know, it's almost impossible to catch up what you've all been doing this last month when you only have one entry per page..)

sådan mamma, sådant barn
or
äpplet faller inte långt ifrån trädet

I think you can guess what I just wrote..

Looks and behaves like no other dog

in retrospect, this set turned out just...I don't even have words for it.
I started it as a way to deal with all the emotions but now, it just seems.. 

I have the flat to myself this weekend. figured I needed some time on my own and most of all, I didn't want whatever needed to get out to have an effect on Honk and Iggy. 


it's odd. it comes and goes and you can never really expect what will make you cry and what will make you laugh. but, I think I'm doing pretty ok. every time I left him, I took a proper goodbye and I told him how I felt, what my plans were and that all he needed to focus on was his wife.
I don't think I made it harder on him and even though the last time was pretty tough as he couldn't respond, I did my best. 


I'm trying to keep myself occupied. playing with the cats, reading and got myself another Last Fm. the other one got lost in cyberspace (who has the same email for years?!) 


my dad died and all I got was this kitchy LastFm-design


it is ok to smile, you know.

my dad...escaped last night. he was released.
passed away, died, nothing can describe it as well as escaped. 


somehow it felt like he was only still here because we kept clinging on. the moment we let him have a breather on his own, he had just that. it was peaceful and he fell asleep a couple of hours earlier never to wake up again. 


I've been crying all night and crying all day. I look like a trainwreck. like I plumped up my eyes. big buck plumping, no cheapo collagen, it's the real stuff. 
but, to be honest, my crying is a bit selfish. he's better off now, he has peace and maybe his memories are merging with other memories. like different spices blend together, his soul is blending with others.
I don't know. what I do know is that when I cry, it's not because he went too soon, too fast or 'he had so much more to give'. he seemed pretty content with life when I saw him on Friday. not just content, he was full and couldn't have another bite. 


my brother ( 1 out of 3) has thrown a few unexpected slurs my way and tried to make me feel worthless and my presence unwanted, but for the first time in my life, I haven't fought back. it doesn't feel like the right time and in all honestly, if he has beef with me, that's his problem. 
dad didn't. 


seeing as my dad had the same type of humor as I do and wasn't much for ..... I bought 2 giant cream cakes and brought them to the nursing home. one for the staff, one for his 'neighbors'. I told them that my dad would have asked what was up with everybody and 'what, did somebody die or something?!' and would have insisted that they'd all eat well because you never know what tomorrow brings. and that is true, you don't. 


right now I am trying to figure out what would make a good verse/poem/type of thing on his obituary. the first thing that came to mind is that line from his favorite song,
Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today.
he's no woman and he didn't kill no casanova, but somehow, it feels right. that or Do I love you. well, most Cole Porter songs...Every time we say goodbye..

I'm counting on some spicy lingonberry and rosehip muffins to save the day.

edit:
aswell as apple, ginger and rosemary muffins.

how you know that you're really not a skirt type of girl - your friend mistakes you for Hare Krishna and refuses to answer the door.

The Dwarves for free. A free festival and all ages. The crowd, all göthteens in Manic panic and mom's pantyhose, made me feel old.. But thank God for the Dwarves, they make me...feel and look young and perky!

THANK YOU to those of you that gave me paid account-time. I feel like a freeloader now...so, is it okay if I come sleep on your couch?!
Yeah, I know, bad sense of humour, but as I have good hair, I figured it evens out..